and this is the nephew I get to spend time almost every day

he is adorable, and he grows so fast!

fun skype w/ my parents for 1.5 h

the secret to happiness

Recent events made me realize that wisdom doesn't stay or it isn't an entity of it's own. instead wisdom is the humbleness that we open our hears and minds with, towards what God has to teach us and speak to us. And one can reach ultimate joy when giving everything up, like personal fulfillment, and pride in who we are and what we have accomplished, and most importantly in marriage, one can reach oneness and pure joy in the most challenging times, when we give up our pride, we admit our sin and the mess we are, and we love unconditionally and we let ourselves be love unconditionally. Conrad and I are living our best days yet, in a crazy world, in a very humbling season in our lives. I learned to lean on God and Conrad, and have nothing else left to lean on. I am incredibly joyous and thankful and excited about what God does and has done in our lives. I love Conrad more every day, and I am so thankful for the gift of his companionship. He inspires me, he serves me, he completes me, and he lest himself be loved by be fully and completely.
We need to be reminded again and again that as soon as we understand that this life is not about us, the sooner we embrace true joy and happiness. This life and this world is about God and our getting to know him better while on this journey.
Dear Lord, thank you for making yourself known to me! Thank you for you patience in my searching for you. Thank you for your unconditional love for me. I pray that all the days of my life I will honor you with my life.

We got a new car

From not knowing what we are going to do tomorrow about our finance issues to buying a car... life is a crazy cycle!

Celebrative margarita spill and slurp

"not good enough"

When struggling with unemployment, besides all the general inconveniences, one starts to question his own value, abilities, sanity. Nobody wants to feel inadequate, but sometimes that's the plain truth when trying to match a square peg in a round whole. The square shape it's not by any means better that the round shape, it's just not the right thing in the right place.
I can't even express in plain words how discouraging it is, not being able to find a job for such a long time. We judge those around us, in our heads most of the time "what is wrong with you? why can't you do this?" and it's out of our power to change our circumstances in the time frame we would like to change them.
I have been blessed with gracious people around, who didn't turn the knife into the wound, by asking insensitive questions. "What did you do all day?, What are your plans for today? Why don't you call again the place where you applied?" or comments like: Maybe you didn't try hard enough, you should... you should... you should... making all sorts of wise comments and giving advice or random examples about the job market. I have heard them, addressed to others, sometimes wrongly interpreted by my overly sensitive psychic...
I have felt all the hard feelings a discouraged person feels. I have built up hope and enthusiasm so many times for the wrong job. And crashed like a plane in flames whenever I would get the blue call.
Why is our value and worthiness depending so much on our job? Well, I know for a fact that if you are not just independently wealthy, paying the bills and being solvent is very important... and can give one many sleepless nights.

Two days ago I have confessed to myself and to mom over candlelights on the porch, my whole journey of a broken spirit, my heart that was cleansed of the darkness of financial frustration, and I had to wait for a year, to learn that God is in control, and no matter what I do, worrying won't add a day to my life, and won't fix problems.

I am so excited to meet my new team at Apple. I am excited to work hard and impact people... and have fun while doing it.
God is amazing, and this new journey at Apple is totally a gift from my Father, and He is very much in control. One step at a time, first the applications, the calls, the interviews, and job offer over the phone... and now signing the papers and meeting the team, starting the 4 days training... and getting to work every work day after that!

I got the job!

It's surreal, almost a year later, hundreds and hundreds of application, over 300 miles of driving to 11+ interviews, I got invited to join the awesome Apple team. A complicated process, and yet fast enough to make it seem fun and exciting.
We went to buy a mouse from the apple store last month, when conrad's client kind of ended suddenly his contract, due to budgeting issues. and we were both kind of depressed. so we decided to spend $69 to bump us our morale. As we were there I thought to myself: "hey, I should apply for a job at Apple" and I went through the on-line tedious process and forgot about it. a few weeks later i got an e-mail and was invited to a recruiting seminar. It was a unique large scale interview, and i got a call just as i got home from the interview to schedule a follow up interview. And so on, step by step i got closer to the final steps of the process. And today I got a call from the manager who wants to hire me. I'll go in next week to sign the papers and will start September 9. He was so kind in his appreciative words for me, and funny and he congratulated me several times, praising me for this wonderful accomplishment. they go big on excitement and fun and team work and friendliness. I have never been so excited about a job in my life! It's amazing!

talk on the porch on the hottest day of this summer

One should never combine a cosmopolitan and a glass of sweet white wine, after a very chatty day, of a long interview followed by meeting a friend over coffee and swimming in the sun, on the hottest day of this summer.
And yet...
Mom and I were very chatty on this particular Tuesday, and we both had quite a fulfilling day, with good productive meetings.
And after I got started with my get together with Pam, talking about this year of unemployment, and all the things that god did in me as well as in my friend who shares thins particular situation of joblessness.
The words were flowing so smoothly off my lips, with our tummies filed with good shishkebabs, after the boys had left us on the porch, with the candles lit. I may have shared with mom very honest deep stuff, but it feels like last night I went all out. Mainly about my journey this year, of sharing a house with them, about how God turned around my way of coping with an imperfect situation, answering my old prayer that when I'll fail to se the truth about who God is and where I stand in his eyes, he will slap e silly if needed, in order to bring me back to reality. And I didn't like it. I didn't like to be put on the back burner, just so that He can prove to me that He can take good care of me and my husband, and He is mighty enough to transform me and my husband. And he allowed him to be the provider, just as I prayed for, when I told to myself that I'd rather be unemployed than be in that unhealthy work situation.
I have misjudged people and circumstances, and I fought against my context and mens, but God redeemed this crazy journey by giving mom and I a friend in each other. I don't know about her, but us living with them while being unemployed saved me from many depressed hours of discouragement and lack of direction and purpose. We used our time well, and we made dear dear memories together. And I do know that my being in her life so constant has been a blessing.

Anyway, over two hours of chatting would hardly fit on this blog page, and it doesn't even have to. We may even forget by tomorrow half of what was said last night, but if anything, this uncensored sharing was one sweet time, that added another layer onto our friendship. May God bless us with many days of joy or tears, of good stories and silences together... And we are thankful for his Grace of redeeming us in such a beautiful way.

Luca, Dan and Andreia - summer of 2010

A p p l e

I got an interview at Apple. A recruiting seminar this Saturday. So I went, not knowing what to expect. Definitely something different than what I have been accustomed to. Unfortunately, I woke up Saturday morning very out of sorts, tired and with a very low energy level, granted the days before I have used my brain intensely with a few projects, and I walked a few hours a day. A bad combination. But I went ahead with the schedule, as planned. At 9 AM I was in front of the Apple headquarters, waiting to get in. As more people were gathering it crossed my mind that they all look very cool, young and hipsters, interesting and attractive, not your usual average in america, unless you are in San Francisco or on a college campus. We got in, after we were welcomed so very warmly, with smiles and small talk, with apple employees mingling with us 20 interviewees... it almost felt like they are testing us out before we even know that they are interviewing us. We got name tags and eventually got into the conference room. Instead of them interviewing us we had to interview each other. they matched us two by two and we had to learn from each other why the other person is the best choice for Apple to hire them. And then, go in front of everybody and introduce and "sell" the one next to us as the best asset. And then we had group interviews and other fun activities... it was the most well organized and fun interview process I have been a part of, even though I wasn't in my best shape. After I got home, and ate something because I felt starved, I got online and saw an e-mail from apple requesting that I fill out a background check for the hiring process. So I did. A few minutes later I got a call to schedule a follow up interview with the store manager I checked as my first choice for employment. So now I am waiting for this next step. Thongs are looking good, and they are so out of my control. I feel a bit discouraged because I have been here so many times, with my hopes up, proceeding to follow up interviews only to hear that the position got cancelled. I'm not a pessimistic type of person, but after almost a year of doing sporadic work, some paid very little, some unpaid, expanding my experience and skills... always hoping for more and yet dealing with disappointment... one is tempted to wonder: what if this is just like all the other times. And yet, I try not to over think it. I had fun at this first interview with Apple, and I believe I made an impression. I am left only with the hope that it will materialize into something permanent... so help me God.

sneak peak - A&H wedding pictures

croissants straight from heaven... so delicious!

"Freddy and Frederica"

I have so many good things to say at night... after i get in bed, but i'm to tired to get up and get on-line to write in here.
I've been reading this book called "Freddy and Frederica"... so funny and so ridiculous... and the reason I love to read is because I get to live so many lives in so short of a time, and learn from people and from situations, and enjoy adventures in parallel with my own life.

Freddy and Frederica are to banned royalties, sent away from their current status and country to conquer a new world and become worthy of their title. And after a lifetime of having more than you need and never needing to fight and work for anything, a life of boredom and futility, two people rediscover the joy of life and love and discover each other for the first time and fall in love after being married for years.
And in their simple new lives, of washing public restroom or washing dishes or working on hard dirty jobs, they seem to flourish in comparison to the simple people who live the same exact lives as they do, but who never had more than the present.

The reason some people decide to give away their fortune and move to a third world country to work with the poor, and serve them and share the Gospel, it's because they conquered their worldly dreams, they had the audacity and ability to be the best they could, and what makes them happy now after giving it all up, it's not only the fact that they were at some point rich and they gave it all up willingly, the reason is a lot deeper, it's in their soul of passionate dreams, of hard work, of success stories, and now they went the extra mile, all the way to the top, giving it all up for he ultimate joy and satisfying purpose.

I was thinking that one day I may like to go back where my grandmother lived, and lead a simple life working the garden, and enjoying the birds singing in the morning. I have seen the world and I am living in the present, taking in my journey and allowing it to rise my spirit up, befriending worldwide known people, rich people, happy people and struggling people... and I may decide that what I want to do is work in missions.

Right now, I'm going downstairs to finish making the croissants. Saturday I have an interview with Apple, and until then, I keep cooking good food, and wake up very early in the morning to prepare lunch for my husband and have coffee with him before he goes to work.
Life is good. God is good.

Scrisoare familiei

Lucruri minunate s-au intamplat saptamana asta.
Conrad si-a trimis CV-ul la o companie care a pus pe internet ca angajeaza grafic designer cum e Conrad. si de trei saptamani i-a tot sunat, tot la cateva zile sa vada daca i-au vazut portofoliu si daca sa vina la un interviu. si marti i-a sunat iar, si angajatorii i-au spus ca nu au apucat sa se uite peste toate CV-urile ca au cateva sute de aplicanti. Dar pentru ca i-a tot sunat l-au chemat la interviu. Si a mers si a lucrat cu ei las un proiect 4 ore in ziua aia. L-a sfarsit i-au spus ca sunt impreisonati de dedicatia si munca lui, si i-au zis sa vina si a doua zi, si orele petrecute la interviu vor fi platite. Si de marti incoace a mers in fiecare zi si a lucrat intre 8 si 10 ore. E o firma mica, de 4 artisti grafici care au clienti in toata california, si foarte mult de munca. si uite asa Conrad si-a gasit de lucru consistent, pe langa firma lui in care are cateva contracte la care lucreaza seara. Eu il ajut cu un limbaj de programare pentru care nu mai are timp acum sa il invete.
Ieri I-au si aprobat salariul cerut, si e aproape dublu decat am facut eu la Silicon Image.
Weekendul viitor eu am interviu la Apple, pentru ca au deschis mai larg portile angajarii. Si am sanse foarte mari acolo.
Si mai sunt alte oportunitati pentru care sunt in asteptare de raspunsuri, insa cel mai mult sunt incantata de Apple (firma care face laptop-uri cum aveti voi cu marul, si calculatoare si iPod-uri cu muzica).
Aseara am adormit gandindu-ma cum intr-o fractiune de secunda Domnul poate schimba situatia noastra, si ne da mai mult decat visam.
Cu oportunitatea asta de lucru a lui Conrad simtim ca ne putem gandi serios la a avea un copil, pentru ca avem cu ce sa ne intretinem daca eu va trebui sa stau acasa cateva luni. Dar si in acest domneniu ne incredintam in mana domnului. Dar mi s-a luat de pe umeri grija ca eu va trebui sa sustin cea mai mare parte a bugetului familiei.

Sunt extraordinar de impresionata de Conrad si de realizarile lui din anul acesta. Domnul a hotarat sa-mi puna planurile mele personale pe locul doi ca sa il pot sustine pe conrad 100% si sa il zidesc si sa-l incurajez. Si desi tendinta naturala e sa fiu si eu tzufic, si sa am independenta totala, imi dau seama ca mersul natural al lucrurilor si ce e mai bine pentru noi doi e ca eu sa il ajut pe conrad sa fie un lider bun din toate punctele de vedere.
Si pe deasupra, nici nu m-am gandit cat de stransa va fi relatia noastra cu parinti dupa mai bine de 6 luni de locuit impreuna. Liz si Bill au fost si sunt un exemplu pentru mine, prin eschiderea lor fata de noi, si darnicia cu care ne-au bineprimit in casa pentru o perioada nedeterminata. La inceput nu prea ne-am gasit locul, dar anul acesta pentrecut impreuna cu ei a fost un dar. Si cred ca suntem mai buni prieteni decat am fost inainte.

Noi va iubim si va purtam in gand si in rugaciune.

Cu mult drag si dor,
Violeta si Conrad

Dinner with the girls and ...Fishing

Too bad I didn't take a picture. We were all so pretty, Gloria and Pam had just returned from a cruise, and Pam from her honeymoon and Moni on her week off, getting ready for the big trip to Romania... and I, well, just happy to hang out with the girlfriends.

What a treat!

We reached one conclusion, as Pam and I are still unemployed and looking for a job, and Alex is looking into changing her present work situation, and so is Moni for that matter, but at least they still have an income, even though it's not the ideal job. And Gloria, well, she could retire, but retirement is a huge change... and it's a scary thing, unless you have a definite plan for keeping busy.

The point is, job hunting is like fishing during a famine, in a swamp. And you never know what fish swim under the dark waters, or if there are any fish at all, and yet, we keep throwing our fishing pole, hoping, planing, reconsidering our fishing strategy... and so on.
O, I have had a few big ones bitting my bait. And they led me on, even pulled my whole boat while working to roll'em up, just to drop the bait right before lifting the big fish. And this happened numerous times. My stomach growling, dreaming about the big fish that would fill me up, I lost hope a thousand times. Then I reconsidered my condition, and my determination and unidimensional focus, turned to God for any sort of guidance or answers... should I still be fishing at all? Is there a point in this unrewarded work? If there is something God stripped me off is my arrogance of self-sufficiency. I am truly dependent upon Him, and humbly accept the grace and love of my family.
I hate fishing. Did I mention that yet?
I am now a professional job hunter, immune to rejection, with an upbeat attitude when starting all over after losing a few weeks worth of work. There is no recipe for surviving a time like this. The journey happens differently inside of any of us. Keeping an open mind, and not giving up ... that's what one needs to remember. And start volunteering, doing work for free, if that's all there is for you to do. The last thing you need is to start feeling worthless and useless. I continue to work on my movie projects, and learn new programing languages, and volunteer at church with the Junior High group, getting out of my comfort zone, learning about myself, exposing myself to new things. And most importantly, supporting my husband and his new business, keeping him accountable, making myself available for any kind of help, offering feedback and bouncing ideas off each other.

May this be a journey of growth, that we'll always look back at with gratitude.

Our rocky journey

I woke up this morning at 4, and don't know why. As I was lying in bed, trying to fall asleep again I thought about Samuel and how he was called by God in the night to listen to His word. I hoped it was easy, but all I can do is sit and meditate.
There is no recipe, and things are turned up side down.
I was thinking about my journey of unemployment, and how much I wished it to be different, and how focused I was on being independent again, and my wish was not granted. And yet God provided for us. What I feared the most happened to us. When I first put on my shoulders the burden of Conrad's school debt, even though i had no reason to fear unemployment at that time I kept thinking what will happen to us if we don't have jobs and we have to make payments of 500 a month. And here we are, 10month later... still on black, using up savings, giving up the stress for money. Today we have only a few hundred dollars to our name... and I keep applying for jobs, and Conrad is working hard doing design, and hope to get the next check to cover our mandatory bills.
I was so mad at Conrad when we are at our highest level of income. And God saved me from myself and my worldly view of life. And then I went through another season of selfishness thinking that the only problem with this picture is Conrad not taking care of his family. How wrong of me to think that, to separate myself from his being and let desperation come between us.
And then we went to Romania and I finally took the finances off my mind. I rested in the house where I grew up.
I have a hard time being depended upon Conrad's parents. And this arrangement will never be right, no matter how well we make it work. We have tasted the freedom and independence, and we will always aspire to that.
If anything, God has cured me of my anger this year, and judgment and frustration. I don't know how He did it. I have been demanding of God and of my spouse, I have had the arrogance of thinking that I know what is best for me and when I should receive answers from God for what i need.
We put off the idea of having a baby, even though we don't take great precautions to prevent getting pregnant. This was a total abandonment into God's plan for us.

I wish I knew what God has in store for us this year. But it's not for me to know, it's for us to find out at the right time.
May we work hard and do what is right in God's eyes, and trust in his care for us for the rest of our lives. Amin!

The days leading up to our engagement in 2007

Alex and I go way back when...

This picture is taken in the summer of 2006, a year after we met. College group PBCC - beach day 2006.
That's why our friendship is so special... that's why i miss and love dearly all my old friends and i treasure those friendships even if we live thousands of miles apart.

Dinner with Alex and Howard

I made this wonderful dinner for our guests. Mom and dad joined us and celebrated with us, with laugher and joy.
Linguine and clams sauce, home baked cuban bread, corn, salad, red wine and home made apple pie with ice cream ... too bad we didn't take a picture of the table before we sat down. It was lovely.
Alex and Howard just celebrated one month from their wedding... and I foresee a long friendship between us. We share quite some memories together and have so much in common.
Well, here's to a bright future of our friendship!

skype with my parents

Am vorbit despre vacante, despre cupluri, despre lacu sarat, despre Luca si multe altele. ne intalnim aproape zilnic pe skype, parca am fi vecini. Facem schimb de retete, si ne mai astamparam dorul unii de altii.

JH

so we went to the Junior High's class at 8:30 AM. It was fun. I don't mind that age group, especially when I take them as a whole, boys and girls together from 6th to 8th grade. They don't have the skills to pretend they are something they are not, they are predictable and raw and honest in their interactions. I enjoyed that greatly.