I am going to write a book

I am thinking about writing a book. A book about my journey during unemployment. I have kept a journal, I have kept a day timer, keeping track of the interviews I went to, and lastly, this blog, with sporadic writing, but pretty much to the point, depending on how dramatic the season was. I sometimes censured my dark discouraged emotions. Anyway, it will take me a year maybe, now that the Altmannhaus business is picking up and I invest even more time in its finance department - accounting and taxes, and expense reports and paying conrad a salary. On the other hand, I will have my own job t Apple and I want more than 30 hours a week do I can qualify for health insurance. And I am still fired up about volunteering to the JH group this year.
When it rains it pours. There were times when I couldn't name one thing that I am kept busy by, except scrubbing the floors of this house, cooking dinner, earning our keep though volunteer labor.
God is mazing... and I did cling on him in silence, not knowing how to listen to his exact words, not knowing if he is even talking to me, just trusting that he is in control of our daily lives. Indeed faith is not about knowing, its about trusting in God when having no clue about the future, being scared out of my mind, and learning to deal with mild panic attacks, and deep discouragement and the frustration of not being self sufficient, but being a burden to people who have no obligation in supporting me, and yet they did it so willingly and freely and lovingly. They never made me feel like I didn't deserve their grace and generosity in hosting me and my husband in their home. Yes, they are Conrad's parents, but they could have made a big deal out of this hard season. And yet they didn't. They didn't even hint that we are inconveniencing them, that we are in their way, that they count the days until we live. They always said that they will miss us terribly when we'll go and that we should stay longer even after we do get jobs. What an amazing witness of love and grace!
This could have been a disaster, and yet it made us stronger and it made us be closer in our friendships. Yes, I am talking about mom and dad... and their amazing ability to love and serve and be generous. We are blessed indeed.