"be nice to the girl!"

I had a rough week trying to figure out a way to relate to Conrad's sense of humor. And looking back i realize how unfair i am for accepting easily the sarcasm as well as the teasing, and laughing genuinely for the most part, and now, in a harder season i find it hard to make myself understood, why certain things are unacceptable after all. I need or plainly want tender care about my feelings. I want to be respected in public and I want to be taken seriously when I said enough.
The other day we were visiting maggie and mike with mom and dad, and conrad was throwing a knit ball back and forth with mike. when maggie came in he threw it at me and asked to throw it back at him. as soon as i did that he said out loud: "viiio, no throwing in the house!" which was followed by maggie's nasal scolding and conrad's giggles, as if this was the funniest thing. he pushed the right buttons and got the expected reactions.
if there is something i dislike most in america is maggie's scolding. it really throws me off. it puts me down as if i were a bad child. it irritates me and i avoid it at all costs. and here is conrad setting me up for what bothers me the most in this world. when i told him it was inconsiderate of him to do so, he said it was just a joke. obviously not for me it wasn't. and he didn't apologies or acknowledge my hurt feelings, even after i spelled it out for him.
a few days went by and other similar feelings pilled up on top of each other.
i finally had a break though when i put him in my shoes with a hypothetical situation.
what if we were visiting my brother in cluj, and i had entered the house with shoes on (which bothers my brother and andreia greatly), and invited conrad to follow my example. As dan or andreia came into the room, i would quickly take my shoes off and say out loud "conrad, no shoes in the house!" which would be followed by a look or a "kind" reminder that shoes stay at the door.
and after all this i would get a kick out of it, laughing. and when conrad would tell me in private "that was not nice" i would say "i was just joking".
finally conrad understood how i felt and apologized. a few days later, but better late than never.

we are learning slowly. And what follows after such break throughs, it's wonderful! ;)