Weeding and swimming and having good quality time with the family

We had no plans for today, and I didn't feel bad about it. After I had coffee mike showed up with a load of dirt, on his way to the city dump, but it turns out that we needed some dirt to fill a side of the yard where flowers are due to be planted and to blossom.
So I asked if I can join in to trip the brick wall ivy, while conrad fixed the side of the drive way, and mom cleaned the flower beds and dad mowed the lawn and trimmed the bushes. How satisfying! Oh, I loved this day of working in the front and back yard.
After all this I helped to make lunch, sandwiches and cheese tortillas toasted. After that Conrad Mike and I went bock to the MM house to swim while Mike loaded the rest of the dirt, and then he joined in. Oh, such good exercise all day. Coming back we happen to stop by the same yard sale as dad did, and then we all went back to do some good purchases of rare findings.
Came back, watched a concert with James Taylor and Carole King and had margaritas. The day is almost over but what a good day it was. And tomorrow is Sunday... more fun time at the house after church.
Life is good!

The book of Eli and ministry opportunity

"A few weeks ago I started thinking about a way to use my gifts in the
community.
In college I was a part time math tutor for junior high kids who were getting
ready for their high school entrance exam, and the results were pretty
successful.
I didn't know how I could make myself available or reach out to this age group
of kids, or if there is such a need here at all.

And then I got this e-mail from Terry. I am curious what does it mean to join
this ministry, what are the volunteers supposed to be doing and what the
timeline commitment looks like.

I'd love to check it out one of this Sundays. And I hope to learn more about
this ministry. "

I may be feverish, and yet I feel this drive inside of me to give more of myself and my time to people who least expect it.
I have been pleading with God for a full time job and couldn't understand why he wouldn't answer favorable to such a decent request of wanting to work and be financially solvent.
I get so caught up in what I think it's right for me and what I want. And I do forget to ask and listen to God. He has been so faithful and provided for us this year. Like walking on stones on an endless lake, and having God lay one stone at the time in front of us for our foot steps.
Last night I watched the Book of Eli, and it put life in perspective. Again and again I am reminded of what matters in this life, that things can be lost in a split second and all we have left is our God and the faith in Him. And at the end, all that matters is that we fought the good fight and we walked by faith, not for our glory but for God's kingdom. There is so much freedom in Him, fearing nothing, even when walking through the valley of death, because God is with us.

I skyped with mom yesterday and she mentioned in passing that we shouldn't get so caught in asking certain things from God, things that may not be good for us, or hate them the moment we receive them.
I have asked for a job so persistent, and yet i remember how it is to have a job that burdens the soul and the mind to the point of breaking me. I also remember the fulfillment of a good challenging rewarding job, and that's what I would like to have.

Anyway, I pray I can honor and serve the Lord to the best of my ability.

Fun dinner with Alex

So Alex came back from her honeymoon funnier than ever. We talked about everything and anything and laughed and just had a good girl time together.

having fun with a new project

Grandparents

Grammie and Grampa are gone. I miss them. I like them. They are so kind and funny and wise. They are corky too, but that completes their personality. It has been a hectic week, with lots of talking, lots to do and a very busy daily schedule. I glided through the week, and I let things go through me rather than carry all kind of burdens and worries. Mom felt a lot more responsible to make their stay a memorable fun one. And she did a wonderful job, except she stretched herself a little to thin.
Anyway, today I mailed Oma and Opa from New York a DVD I made with Caleb's first year of life. A 15 minutes complex movie and a slideshow. I hope they like it.
Dad was so sweet with his kind words to me this week. He thanked me for the way I serve everybody around with my gifts and kindness. And he said he loves having us around. That was so kind of him to say. We don't really have a choice right now bout our housing situation. Our budget is too tight and we are still transitioning back to a normal independent life.
I started using my computer and creative skills a lot more now. I invent little projects and now dad came home with a project from work that may transform into paid creative project. In the mean time, I still apply for jobs, and I hope that my application for a bank job at chase will come through. Conrad is slowly making progress in his business of graphic and web design.
It's a new week, I started the pot roast in the crock pot, and tonight we'll be babysitting Caleb.
Living in the present and yet working hard for a better future. It's quite a challenge to do this sometimes.

The tired old bunny crawling through the living room

making SVEHA

Life at the altmanns

This past week we celebrated Caleb's first birthday and dad's birthday. Every week we also go to the park and play frisbee, sometimes I join in unless I feel very artistic and want to take pictures of my dad and my husband. They rock together. I think it's their favorite way to exercise together ... and they let me join in too :)

Grandparents visiting

interesting wedding

we went last night to the most interesting wedding I've ever been to. A Pakistani wedding, here in San Jose. A very fancy one I might add. With delicious food and awesome attires. Conrad and I wore the classic black with a touch of pink, and we definitely were the different looking ones. Conrad compared the dance floor with bollywood prom... very entertaining to watch.
Here is a glimpse of my dress, first time wore, hand-me-down from Allie. We did not take any pictures at all yesterday. Life is more fun without a camera...

Third year anniversary ...celebrated with a picnic at the ocean - My favorite place

Dan, Andreia and Luca on vacation in Antalya

"be nice to the girl!"

I had a rough week trying to figure out a way to relate to Conrad's sense of humor. And looking back i realize how unfair i am for accepting easily the sarcasm as well as the teasing, and laughing genuinely for the most part, and now, in a harder season i find it hard to make myself understood, why certain things are unacceptable after all. I need or plainly want tender care about my feelings. I want to be respected in public and I want to be taken seriously when I said enough.
The other day we were visiting maggie and mike with mom and dad, and conrad was throwing a knit ball back and forth with mike. when maggie came in he threw it at me and asked to throw it back at him. as soon as i did that he said out loud: "viiio, no throwing in the house!" which was followed by maggie's nasal scolding and conrad's giggles, as if this was the funniest thing. he pushed the right buttons and got the expected reactions.
if there is something i dislike most in america is maggie's scolding. it really throws me off. it puts me down as if i were a bad child. it irritates me and i avoid it at all costs. and here is conrad setting me up for what bothers me the most in this world. when i told him it was inconsiderate of him to do so, he said it was just a joke. obviously not for me it wasn't. and he didn't apologies or acknowledge my hurt feelings, even after i spelled it out for him.
a few days went by and other similar feelings pilled up on top of each other.
i finally had a break though when i put him in my shoes with a hypothetical situation.
what if we were visiting my brother in cluj, and i had entered the house with shoes on (which bothers my brother and andreia greatly), and invited conrad to follow my example. As dan or andreia came into the room, i would quickly take my shoes off and say out loud "conrad, no shoes in the house!" which would be followed by a look or a "kind" reminder that shoes stay at the door.
and after all this i would get a kick out of it, laughing. and when conrad would tell me in private "that was not nice" i would say "i was just joking".
finally conrad understood how i felt and apologized. a few days later, but better late than never.

we are learning slowly. And what follows after such break throughs, it's wonderful! ;)

I cut my hair on the spur of the moment

...and I love it!

three years from the wedding... tried on my wedding dress and it fits!!

Mici de California

Ingrediente mici (mititei) din carne de vaca:
1 kg de carne grasa de vaca, tocata marunt
10 - 15 linguri de supa de carne si oase de vaca
2 lingurite cimbru uscat
1 1/2 lingurita piper proaspat macinat
1 lingurita ienibahar proaspat macinat
10 catei de usturoi pisati
1/3 lingurita chimen proaspat macinat
1 1/2 lingurita bicarbonat de sodiu
1 lingurita suc lamaie
1 lingura ulei
sare
Modul de preparare a retetei:
Carnea de vaca bine tocata se framanta intr-o cratita impreuna cu condimentele si sarea. Se adauga bicarbonatul stins cu sucul de lamaie si se amesteca din nou, adaugand treptat cam 1/2 din supa de carne. Supa trebuie sa fie concentrata ca sa lege amestecul de carne tocata. Se da amestecul la frigider si se pregateste un mujdei de usturoi, care se amesteca in supa ramasa. Se scoate amestecul de carne pentru mici de la frigider si se inglobeaza si restul de supa si mujdeiul de usturoi. Pentru a ingloba mai multa supa se bate carnea de masa, ca un aluat de cozonaci. Micii trebuie sa inglobeze multa supa, altfel dupa ce sunt facuti la gratar vor fi uscati si tari. Daca punem suficienta supa si ii facem pe gratar la jar fierbinte, micii vor iesi suculenti si gustosi. Se framanta pasta de mici pana cand se obtine un amestec omogen, apoi se da la frigider pana a doua zi.
Se mai framanta o data pasta de mici, apoi se da forma micilor si se ung cu ulei. Se pregateste gratarul, iar cand jarul este format se unge gratarul cu putina slanina si se aseaza micii. Cand sunt tinuti pe gratar, micii se stropesc cu supa si mujdei de usturoi si se intorc de cateva ori pentru a se praji uniform pe toate partile.

after the party ...pictures with the flowers while they lasted

Alex and Howard's wedding day

I gave a toast and everything... it was a glorious day for Alex and Howard. Their love was well celebrated with joy and friendship. I can't wait to see the real pictures. I didn't have my camera because I was busy with bride's made's duties and fun responsibilities...
The b&w picture was taken by my hubby as I was getting ready for the wedding.

Pasarea Colibri

Am ascultat Pasarea Colibri cel mai mult in facultate, mergand la lucru sau la cursuri, pe iPod, si era timpul meu cu mine, cu gandurile mele, visand sau rugandu-ma, sau vindecandu-mi sufletul de una sau de alta. Mi-a insotit singuratatea cu bucurie si cantec... si ce bucurie inca!

The hardest thing this season is occasional feeling that I have no purpose. Because I don't have a consistent income. Personally. And my self-sufficiency is slowly cured, against my will. I think I was not supposed to pass through this world feeling like I only need what I choose to need an dI can have anyway. i allowed myself to be 100% vulnerable in the presence of my husband and get energized by his love and goofiness anytime and anywhere. But now I realize that am not entitled to everything that I receive: grace and friendship and love. The openness to it happens first in my mind, and it takes time to decide that I will simply let myself be loved and served, and there is nothing I can do to earn this type of grace.
I also had to let go of my view of what defines my new status. I went back to Romania multiple times, and I didn't realize what a blessing it was to visit family while on paid vacation, and have a cozy comfortable home of my own waiting for me here in California. I also went wild with gifting people. I thought this is the new age, of having a good income and being able to buy all the good things for people that I love and care for back in Romania. I did that when I was just a student and I thought now I can do this even more abundantly. But then my job loss happened. And I have to remind myself again and again that my love for my family does not translate only through gifts. It didn't used to be that way for the most part of my life. So why should I feel so distressed by this new (and yet old) reality.
I remember the joy of gifts, that my brother first introduced me to. His many trips outside the country and the little gifts he always brought to me: perfume and chocolate and later earrings.
I do have a purpose, and my life is not suspended into a void world while I don't have a job. I believe I have impacted many people in my free time.. and this was a delight to add to my luggage of memories.

At the same time, I was reminded yesterday that contentment is not influence by what happens to us but by the way we respond to the things that happen to us. I see so many people that have well paying jobs and are discontent. And want something else, something more, something just different. They have a cute home and they would trade it for freedom. I remember these feelings so clearly. I was there a year ago. I feared that this was all that I was to expect from my day to day life. I was drying up from the inside. And change came. And it was what I wanted, and then it was to much of it, and now we are living our dreams, but not quite the way we wanted them to be. We want to be independent again. We want to have our own place and I want health insurance so we can start planning for a baby in the future.

We are in our office now, in mom and dad's house, conrad is working and listening to music. I just sent my transcripts to a company I applied for a office manager job. They asked for my transcripts... and I find it encouraging... to have a company follow up with my application. mot of the time I have the impression that I am sending my CV into a big black hole of recruiting.

Indeed what matters most is what happens in us not what happens with us. And on that note, I decided to learn to live in the present and be open and teachable every day. God has met with my soul in a very genuine way, while reaching my strength's limit and having nowhere else to turn but Him. My true hope and joy comes from God and His presence in my life.